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Noen mennesker får diagnosen autisme senere i livet. For eksempel fordi partneren merker at noe «ikke stemmer» eller fordi vedkommende merker at ting er annerledes for ham/henne enn for andre.
En del menn i min praksis har fått denne diagnosen i en senere alder. Kjennetegn er for eksempel at de ofte skifter jobb fordi de har en fast idé i hodet om hvordan det skal gå. Hvis ting blir annerledes enn forventet, er det vanskelig for dem å justere bildet. De biter seg fast, sier opp og ser etter en annen jobb.
Men det kan også være et problem å få barn. Kvinner føler seg ofte forlatt under svangerskapet. Og hvis du har en gråtebaby, er det vanskelig for personer med autisme å forholde seg til det.
Etter at diagnosen er stilt tilbys alltid kurs. En coach kan også være nyttig for både personen med autisme og partneren. Denne coachen kan hjelpe partneren med å lære å håndtere personen med autisme. Personer med autisme lytter ofte mer til coachen enn til partneren. Det kan gi partneren litt trygghet. Under ingen omstendigheter skal partneren bli en hjelpepleier for partneren!
Som partner til en person med autisme, sørg for at du kan åpne hjertet ditt hos venner eller likesinnede. Ikke bare personen med autisme trenger hjelp, men også partneren!
Ikke rusle i vei, men prøv å introdusere nye ting litt etter litt slik at de kan tenke på det. Vær trygg på at de alltid vil komme tilbake til det.
What to do if your partner has autism?
Some people are diagnosed with autism later in life. For example, because the partner notices that something is “not right” or because the person in question notices that things are different for him/her than they are for others.
Several men in my practice have been diagnosed with this at a later age. A characteristic is, for example, often changing jobs because they have an idea in their head of how things will go. If things turn out differently than expected, it is difficult for them to adjust their image. They then get “stuck”, resign, and look for another job.
But having children can also be a problem. Women often feel abandoned during pregnancy. And if you have a cry baby, it is difficult for people with autism to relate to that.
After the diagnosis has been made, a course is always offered. A coach can also be useful for both the person with autism and the partner. This coach can help the partner learn how to deal with the person with autism. People with autism often also accept more from the coach than from the partner. That can give the partner some peace of mind. Under no circumstances should the partner become a nursing person!
As a partner of a person with autism, make sure that you can open your heart to friends or like-minded people. Not only the person with autism needs help but also the partner!
Don't ramble on but try to introduce new things little by little so that they can think about it. Rest assured that they will always come back to it.
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